Monday, April 22, 2013


I knew that once I told people I was pregnant, I would be flooded with advice from the mommy pros. I understand it's a very natural thing to want to do. Most of the time it's solicited, some of the time it's not, and then there is advice that is just so unwanted it takes everything in me not to cause physical harm to the advice giver. I am finding this getting more and more difficult with one advice giver in particular.

I have this acquaintance, for identity purposes we are going to call her MR F.  Those of you who have seen Arrested Development may appreciate the reference. Now, every time MR F sees me she has to tell me how terrible I am looking. She is constantly telling me I look exhausted. First, I want to say that yeah I'm a bit tired, but not nearly as much as previous weeks, and second eff-off because recently I've been getting anywhere from 8-12 hours of quality sleep and feel pretty good when I roll into work! Now, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me give you a background of MR F.

MR F has suffered from every medical problem there has ever been and her pregnancy was a freaking miracle because apparently everything that could possibly go wrong, did. So either she's a medical miracle and should be studied closely so the rest of us can benefit from her healing powers, or she's a GD crazy hypochondriac starved for attention. I'm convinced it's the latter. I mean she told me one time that she had to be on bed rest the entire pregnancy only to tell me about a week later that her pregnancy was easy breezy, only to tell me another week later that she was at a constant risk of losing the baby and had to go for weekly ultrasounds. I'm a nice person to acquaintances and it took everything in me not to say, "Girlfriend, get your life together before you open your mouth again."

Here are a few other things MR F does that infuriate me on a practical daily basis:

1. Complains how "healthy" I eat.
2. Complains how non-healthy I eat.
3. Tells me that pregnancy is only going to get harder as I progress (No sh@%)
4. Tells me I will probably get really big because I am little.
5. Tells me this will probably be the worst thing I go through.
6. Tells me this will be the most amazing time of my life.
7. Tells me how hard my life will be once the baby comes and how unhappy I will be for the first 3 years.
8. Tells me how wonderful it is having a baby in the house.
9. Complains to me how "easy" this pregnancy has been so far.
and my favorite- this she tells me every time she sees me
10. Don't think your whole pregnancy will be easy. Just wait it's going to be murder in a couple weeks.

I am swearing on Sweetums' life that these are the interactions I have with MR F almost daily. So for those of you advice givers out there, I really appreciate most of it because obviously this is my first time, but if you feel the need to comment on things MR F has said I will not hesitate to verbally slap you.

So to end this pointless rant on a good note, my favorite artist of ALL time, Bob Dylan, will be touring this summer with some pretty amazing bands. I can't wait to expose Baby V to some pretty great tunes within the womb because obviously we will never listen to stupid kiddie tunes like The Wiggles...... hahahahaha!! Yeah right! But seriously, I really am stocked to see Dylan in concert, for sadly only the second time in my whole life, and rock out with Baby V. wiggling away :).

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


**This post was prompted because I was feeling like blowing up FB with ultrasound, and belly, photos :) Also, this will probably be a bit of a ramble......

It's a very strange thing being pregnant and having practically no symptoms. I mean, I have to buy new bras every week, I get some serious heartburn, and I'm exhausted by 3:30, but I don't really count those as symptoms. What it really feels like is I've just let myself go. I've had a history of some serious heartburn and the girls have been known to fluctuate. All things I had a problem with when I've gained a few more lbs than I would like. Also, I work with 6 and 7 year olds, so I think I'm entitled to be spent by 3:30. The only real sign is the tightening of my pants, which are really just making me look like a fatty instead of a cute pregnant chick. I'm really not trying to complain or rub it in, I swear.

So, for your viewing pleasure, or not, here are some shots of my microscopic belly, and the newest shot of Baby V. Finally a profile shot! Those creepy alien shots were a bit scary if I do say so myself...

8 weeks

10 weeks

13 weeks

The babes....
*** I sincerely apologize for the overuse of the vignette filter, but you can get over it because I like it...***

Monday, April 8, 2013


First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...... well you know the rest! That's right, folks, Joe and I are having a baby and the baby carriage! To answer your first question, yes, we are super excited, especially since we are not teens and this is not an unplanned thing. Second, yes, we were trying :).

One thing I dislike about FB is constant updates about pregnant bellies, and baby pics, and minute by minute updates, so any baby posts will be kept to the blog that way you can choose to read or not and I don't jam up your news feed when I turn into a pregnant belly posting fiend!

I also thought this would be a good place to answer all those common questions that we (mostly me) have been asked.

To start:

1. I have been feeling pretty fantastic. I got super lucky and have had almost no morning sickness. There was a moment early on where I almost bit it in the shower, but that was short lived.

2.  At this moment I am exactly 11 weeks and 6 days.

3. I have had some interesting food cravings, such as bacon. Those of you who know me, know I don't eat any pork products based on total moral, and recently I could eat it by the pound if I would let myself buy it. I killed a whole jar of Baby Gherkins on the way home from work one day, and if I don't have ice cream nightly I go a little Hulk on Joe.

4. I'm super emotional and cry a lot more than I would like- for example: the other night Joe had some food go down the wrong pipe and I burst into tears like a big fat weenie.

5. My patience is pretty much non-existent. I cursed out a lady in a parking lot for walking too slow in front of my car about 3 days ago. In my defense, she was taking her sweet time, and freaked out on me because I was stopped at a STOP sign.......

6. Finally, I would love it if this little bundle was a boy. I don't want to sit here and lie and say "As long as it has 10 fingers and 10 toes..." blah, blah, blah. I really want a little boy. Obviously, I will love it unconditionally if the baby is a girl, and she will be amazing, but I am rooting for a boy, and so is Joe.

I think that covers it :). If these questions get asked via FB I will politely direct you to this post :).


Here's a little something to leave you with :)
Baby V. waving hello.